Your Life Purpose Finds You
Aug 05, 2024Today’s Fairy Dusted Lesson:
I’m about to take the pressure off what your life’s purpose is.
An interesting thing is happening to me the more I learn about the neuroscience of trauma: I feel the need to level up my spirituality (by joining a cult, just kidding). In my case, it’s how to I let my Inner Fairy Godmother take care of me and guide me, or how can I be less brain, more soul, or how can I remember that Magic is Real all the time (I have a part of me that loves to block it).
Well, I cracked open a book and the trouble with reading other people’s books on their spiritual journey when you’re advanced is that you know a lot of the stuff, and most of the time, I’ve DONE it. On my first appointment with Dumbledore many years ago, I had already done so much work. In that first session I said, please don’t tell me to journal, to meditate, to do The Artist’s Way, to work the 12 steps because I have, and it hasn’t stopped my insatiable need to use food to self-medicate. She lovingly told me that I had done an amazing job, but now it was time to do trauma work. She passed the test and it worked.
I finally arrived at a page (it took me until page 305 to find something that I didn’t already know or experience (I’m old). The subheading was “The Magic of Presence,” so you know that got my attention. Dr. Shafali in her book, A Radical Awakening says,
Purpose and life are inextricable. As long as we are alive, we have a purpose. At the most basic level, our purpose is to stay and feel alive…Purpose then, is only one thing-presence…and it calls for our recognition and commitment to this truth… Purpose is presence and presence is authenticity and inner connection.” (Shefali, 2021, p. 305)
I love how she says, the question isn’t “what is my purpose?” The question is “What are the barriers to my true self?” And just like any kind of spiritual work does, it brings us back to the beginning. I sought the book, because I wanted something external to make me feel better – in the healthiest sense, I wanted someone to remind me of what I already know, which is coming back to my authentic-self/being conscious is always the answer, which I can get back to through the 8 C’s (confident, calm, courage, creative, connected, compassion, curious, clarity – plus Advanced Bitches also have celebration!) and 5 P’s (presence, perspective, patience, persistence, and playfulness) and that’s all I’ll ever need.
For CPTSD kids it’s important to remember that everything we went through was a negation of our authentic-self and having any of the 8 C’s or 5 P’s would be dangerous. I really liked how she wrote “at the most basic level, our purpose is to stay and feel alive.” I’m so proud of us that we accomplished the first part. We’re still here!!! Now we are continuing to feel safer and safer feeling alive is a wonderful purpose to have.
PS. If you’re disappointed by “your purpose is presence” and wanted a “better answer” of how to find your life purpose: Know that if we are in our 8 C’s and 5 P’s, anything we’re supposed to be doing with our life will be revealed. We can’t miss it if we’re present. It finds you. Keep healing, never stop.
With so much love and fairy dust,
Elizabeth
Disclaimer: Although I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, I offer these Advanced Lessons in Personal Growth as a trauma survivor who is doing the work to heal and sharing the magic I learn along the way. I share my own experience, strength, and hope. This is not intended to be psychotherapy. Some of the lessons and assignments could be triggering, so I recommend if you do find them triggering to stop reading/not try them and to immediately seek the support and expertise of a professional psychotherapist.
Shafali, T. (2021) A Radical Awakening: Turn Pain into Power, Embrace Your Truth, Live Free. San Francisco: Harper One
Book: A Radical Awakening: https://amzn.to/4chbZRX
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