Two Easy, but Important Tools for Healing Childhood Trauma

Number two on the Advanced Bitchifesto is Advanced Bitches do whatever it takes to heal their childhood trauma.  Now that we have set aside or are working on setting aside our substances, codependency and dysfunctional patterns (Advanced Bitchifesto No. 1), we find that it’s not so easy because we’re confronting the reason we relied on those things in the first place:  our pain.  And thus begins the deeply self-compassionate work of healing that pain.  

The heart wrenching beauty of the human psyche is that pain also holds all the information you need to heal.  As a very wise Advanced Bitch once said, “Thank you, I hate it.”  Same.  

1.  Doing whatever it takes to heal our childhood trauma is daunting, but how to heal is deceivingly simple.  All we need to do is Follow the Thread.  Here are two really important following the thread tools.

1. Pick up/listen to a book, any book that interests you. You may know that the fawn response is an issue you need to address, but for some reason, you want to work on incorporating new habits, so you pick a habit book. Genius!! The thread is leading you to learn how to incorporate healthy habits. Guess what you need to heal the fawn response? A great foundation of non-codependency habits.

Pro-tip #1:  The book doesn’t have to be self-help – a hell of lot of my trauma was healed by reading the Harry Potter books and incorporating the lessons and themes into my life. 

Pro tip #2 You must put at least one thing from the book into your life as an action step.  Remember, the intelligence is used in service of the neurosis – just reading won’t cut it against your inner saboteur).

2.  Do the next right thing. This tool is taught to all recovering addicts. Our addictions helped us live our lives, so when we set them aside, we don’t know what in the fuck to do with our day, so one way to figure out what to do is to ask ourselves, “What’s the next right thing?” Here’s the craziest part – your inner guidance never fails to give you an answer if you listen. The best part is that not getting an answer IS AN ANSWER. Just keep doing what you’re doing until you ask the question and get an answer. The answer could be as grand (i.e.start therapy, write your book) or as seemingly basic (i.e. clean the kitchen, brush your teeth).

Pro tip #1 if you don’t trust this tool completely, try it as an experiment for a day and then at the end of your day ask yourself was your day better or worse than days without asking yourself “What’s the next right thing?”

Pro tip #2  Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this tool – an consequence of asking yourself what the next right thing is that you start to acquire a lil something called self-trust.  The other magical thing this does is gets you familiar with and creates space for your inner guidance as opposed to the voice you’re used to listening to:  your inner saboteur).

Magical Assignment:

1. How can you incorporate something you recently read into an action step today?
2. For fun, ask yourself, “What’s the next right thing” and do it.